


Kit After My Own Heart

by DrAphra



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama, Fluff, High Fantasy, Itachi raises Naruto, Naruto becomes the hero of Konoha, Naruto is adopted by Itachi, Surprise Adoption, in which Itachi is amazing, sibling feels, teenage parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 08:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17597720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrAphra/pseuds/DrAphra
Summary: Itachi, feeling sorry for the orphan, takes Naruto with him after the massacre.  Can he still effect his plan involving Sasuke and raise a Jinchuuriki under the collective noses of the Akatsuski while dealing with a terminal illness throughout his teens? Of course - this is Itachi Uchiha, beast of beasts.





	1. Chapter 1

Itachi felt the moonlight beat down on his pale skin and struggled not to flinch. He had done it. He had killed them. And the only soul spared chased after him through a night now bright without cloud cover, bright – he knew, with the blade of vengeance he could already hear being unsheathed in Sasuke’s precious heart. 

His younger brother stumbled but kept up his speed behind him. He ran pell-mell for all he was worth until he could at last fling a set of kunai in the direction of their family’s slaughterer. Itachi pivoted, knowing he could block or catch each in turn. 

The final weapon made a sharp metallic ding as it bounced off his headband. Hatred and betrayal abounded in his sibling’s eyes. These were eyes Itachi had never wanted to witness pained beyond a childish pout and eyes he had only ever seen love reflected out of into his own. 

Although he'd spent years in ANBU becoming familiar with death and apathy, that was a beautiful lesson Itachi always remembered – that love, real love was like the sun and eyes reflected it like the moon did the sun’s rays. 

The moon cast Sasuke’s face in sharp relief. It was alive with all the wrong emotions. 

His small chest panted for breath but even now he struggled to maintain a half crouch instead of collapsing as any child his age should after such a sprint. Itachi wondered if his own face had frozen under the chill of the moment. Perhaps even finally turned to a sort of alabaster stone beneath the silver of this most cursed night. 

Tears streaked down his cheeks, fast and thick. Itachi’s whole body followed suit with his face. He wanted to die. For Sasuke to kill him now. 

The utmost of his spirit had been sapped from him in the assassinations – did he really maintain anything after, any shred of determination to sacrifice further to such a heart-breaking charade? His will of fire was snuffed out. It must be. Let his little brother end it and maybe know some peace. Let it be over. 

But no. There was the masked man called Madara and others who still posed a threat to Sasuke. And the plan to redeem the clan to the village so his brother could one day live a life free from evil and chiefly the evil of politics, on his own terms. As an individual, _as a hero_ , and not merely the heir to a bloated name and bloodline forever hungry for power. 

Itachi unfroze himself. Sasuke sank to the dirt, murder in his gaze, and Itachi kicked off the roof. 

His usually calm heartbeat pounding with each and every stride he forced himself to take. 

* * *

Naruto rummaged through the garbage in the back alley of one of Konoha’s outskirt streets. Jiji gave him an allowance but he’d spent it on his new frog wallet so he could have something to put his allowance in. It had made sense to him at the time. 

But the caprice was coming back to bite the seven-year-old in the form of hungry growls from his tummy. He found a blackened banana peel and chewed on it to have something, anything food-like to occupy his teeth with. Tears bubbled up at the edges of his eyes. He was so hungry. 

A light came on above the shop the dumpster belonged to. For as loud as Naruto’s stomach was his violent digging in the trash was louder. An angry middle aged man came out into the alley. He wore a robe which barely covered his impressive gut and wielded a broom. 

“YOU! Just what do you think you’re doing in my dumpster, huh?” he yelled. Naruto yelped as he was hauled one-handed out the man’s property. 

“You’re nothing but an orange menace. Can’t **ever** leave well ‘nuff alone can you?!”. 

He shook Naruto roughly who kicked and squirmed. The old man ignored his pleas and began to lecture-scream at the famished orphan who quickly got tired of it. He bit the man’s hand holding him. The shop owner shrieked. 

“I KNEW IT!! NOTHING BUT A DEMON MONGREL BRAT!” 

He used the broom to shower the Jinchuuriki with a rain of blows. Naruto cried out and curled into fetal position. 

Every attempt he made to move away from the angry adult like the overlarge and unwelcome raccoon he apparently was, was met with a sweep of the broom, bringing him back in front of the man and therefore back under his attacks. 

“Foolish, evil -!!” the man’s hissing bile seemed to have no end. Surely he was being louder than Naruto had been earlier in his quest for a meal. 

_**SNAP!**_

The sound of a wooden handle being broken clean in two across a metal greave echoed in the night. 

Itachi Uchiha stood with an arm raised in a basic taijutsu upward block. His form and stance were reinforced enough to absorb the impact the handle gave and break it like the brittle bones of a weak enemy. And there was no doubt in his mind that the man before him was weak. Spineless? More than likely – if the teenager saw fit to check. 

The broom-head clattered to the ground and the shop owner stuttered in surprise but easily recovered his rage. 

“And just who in the hell -?!”.

The man stopped his rant himself this time. Cold pools of crimson swirled ominously in the view of the moon. 

“Itachi Uchiha; jutsu prodigy, captain in the ANBU Black Ops, and as of this night – **slayer** of the Uchiha clan” Itachi informed him. 

His voice was tinted with a darkness not usually there. It wasn’t the note of unbothered arrogance he had manifested for Sasuke some minutes ago while feeding him the lies that would hopefully set him on the path for salvation. Rather, it was his compounded emotions catching up with him and seeping into the texture of his words. 

He’d cut through hundreds of kith and kin in a short matter of hours like they were grass. 

He’d salvaged his brother only to purposefully warp the boy’s affections for him into twisted loathing. 

He was currently in the middle of fleeing the very village he’d always called home after single-handedly delivering it from civil war. 

And then he’d come across the scene of a not-so-civil civilian beating an innocent child. 

Naruto Uzumaki was the subject of Itachi’s sympathy for many years. The way Konoha treated him with spurn and bruises for being the Kyuubi container had never settled well with him. Quite the opposite in fact. It rolled around like a bad-to-terrible aftertaste in the maw of Itachi’s conscience. 

The child curled up on the ground had welts appearing on his upper body and a knot forming on the temple. It pushed Itachi’s blood to boiling. 

His heavy and sudden loss of nearly everything he loved weighing on him and the snapping of that broom as he was passing through had brought forth something he’d not really had all night – **killing intent.**

Had he killed many and completed his mission? 

Yes. 

But only while suffering mightily as he completed a task he’d never wanted to shoulder. 

This shop owner he **felt** like killing as his fury at the man’s abuse and at his own situation escalated. Or at least, if he didn’t deserve to be killed, he clearly needed to be scared. 

“ _Slayer?_ Did I hear you right?” the man asked the teenager but it wasn’t necessary. 

The ANBU Black Ops gear, stained from his dirty work and the look in Itachi’s serious and bloody eyes said everything. He quivered and stepped back. 

Itachi rested the broken broom handle from him and brought it down on the man’s shoulder hard enough to fracture his clavicle. The shop owner staggered with a gurgle. Itachi struck the kneeling man a second time across the head, knocking him unconscious, and breaking the broom’s remaining handle in half yet again. 

He wouldn’t kill this bully it seemed but he didn’t need him alerting others to his presence.

Sadly, Itachi was too late on that latter precaution. The shop owner had made a colossal din in his interaction with Naruto alone and building lights were beginning to flicker on. Tired but inquisitive voices filtered through screened windows. 

It was time for him to leave. 

Faint snuffling caught his attention. The kid was still curled into fetal position, too wracked with fear and pain to dare peeking up at the goings-on above him. All Naruto knew was that after the blows had stopped, adults were nearby and talking and that meant they’d probably come to some agreement and would go back to striking him - only together. 

More lights. 

Would they tend to Naruto? Would they even notice or care if he crawled behind the dumpster to avoid detection? Dear Kami, _would he be punished for this?_

Itachi, born plotter, made a snap decision of epic proportions. 

He scooped the seven-year-old up in his arms and whisked him over the village walls. No one saw him running into the woods with his crumpled bundle. 

But when the shop owner awoke he did relay the boastings of the insane prodigy and how he was so rudely assaulted. And soon to be coupled with the shock of the Uchiha massacre was the population’s realization that the Jinchuuriki was no longer in Konoha. 

Rumors spread. Many gossiped about the assassinations carried out by a renegade ANBU. They whispered about the fate of Sasuke and how his brother must have run out of time to kill him and still escape. They almost cheered to the news that Naruto was gone until it was speculated that Itachi had taken him and later guessed at that Itachi had joined the terrorist group known as the Akatsuki. 

Bounties were placed on the missing nin and the Hokage sent out his best to retrieve Naruto. People of the Leaf were not allowed to leak the information that the Jinchuuriki had been kidnapped but people talk. The Leaf, in spite of having such an elite ninja force at their command became vulnerable in the view of surrounding nations. Itachi Uchiha’s name was loaded with an extra dose of infamy and came close to being a swear word in the place of his birth. 

For his part, Itachi decided Konoha might get away with charging their special operatives one too many responsibilities but they wouldn’t get away with much else and could have Naruto back once they proved they were worthy of the responsibility he presented in and of himself. Not as the Kyuubi-container but as a child of the village. 

He did not regret his choice. 

* * *

The child squirmed in Itachi’s arms. They were far enough away from Konoha so the teen set him down on the forest floor. He rifled through his medical pouch for some bandages. Naruto peered up at him a bit dazed but that made sense seeing as he’d been nearly concussed by the shop owner. 

Where to start? 

Itachi dabbed tenderly at Naruto’s head wound which looked the ugliest out of them all. 

“Mr.?” Naruto squeaked, somewhat warily. “Where are we going?” 

“Away from Konoha. I’m going to take care of you from now on. Is that….alright?” 

Itachi wasn’t sure how the kid would respond. He assumed with more questions or even confused silence – he did **not** expect Naruto to launch himself into his torso and hug him fiercely. 

Itachi hugged back, awkwardly, after a brief pause. 

A tiny hand came up and patted Itachi’s face where his tears had trickled down. Although running and the wind had mostly dried them, a bit of dampness left in the deep lines of his face still remained. 

“Did someone make you cry too, Mr. Weasel?” Naruto asked. 

The boy beamed at him with a watery smile and watery eyes. 

“Not exactly” Itachi replied. 

He remembered that his ANBU mask was clipped to his hip due to Naruto’s comment and the fact that the Jinchuuriki was now pawing at it. 

“I’m Itachi. Hold still please.” 

Naruto did as instructed so Itachi might finish patching him up. 

“I’m Naruto Uzumaki!” the boy said proudly. 

“Nice to meet you. We must leave soon. Ninja from the village will come looking for us. Do you understand?” 

“Uh-huh.” 

Itachi offered his back for Naruto to climb up on. The child attached to him like a baby monkey immediately. Even Sasuke wasn’t that fast. 

How often had the kid truly been held? 

“Hold on tight, ok?” 

Naruto nodded into his shoulder and off they went, through dark trees and a sea of branches. 

* * *

It wasn’t long before the bellowing laments of a little stomach reached his ears. Dawn was on the horizon and Naruto had fallen asleep for several hours only to be awakened for the second time that evening by his hunger. 

“Want a rations cube?” 

Itachi passed the boy a hard-packed protein cube for him to munch on. 

“Thanks, Chichi-tachi” Naruto said sleepily. 

The thirteen-year-old blinked. So, he was Papa Itachi now, was he? Considering the whirlwind of events to transpire in his life in the last twenty-four hours it wasn’t too much of an inconvenience or a stretch of the imagination to add to the pile. 

Thirteen and already a wanted assassin and adoptive father to a demon container. 

Who would’ve ever guessed? 

Probably no one, given how guarded Itachi usually was with a good portion of his mature thoughts and emotions. 

“We’re close to our checkpoint. Try not to fall, Naruto-kun.” 

Naruto clung tighter to him but Itachi could tell that he was getting tired. However, even with his new charge in tow Itachi was surprised by the amount of ground he’d covered and how not much had been shaved off of his original set time of arrival

* * *

There was one sleeping bag but a few cuts with his kunai turned it into a pallet for them both. This would have to do until he could visit a store for more supplies. 

Naruto’s stomach started whining again. Was he still hungry, perhaps? 

“Did you not eat the rations cube?” Itachi asked. 

Naruto blushed and ducked his head. He mumbled something indistinct. 

“Please speak louder, Naruto-kun.” 

“It was too hard to chew. I just sucked on it some before spitting it out. I’m sorry!” 

It was clear from his rushed words and tone that he really was torn about throwing away anything someone gifted to him out of kindness. But if he’d been that hungry he should’ve eaten the cube – dull taste and lackluster consistency aside. 

“Did chewing it hurt?” 

“Yeah.” 

“How much?”

“A whole lot!” 

Itachi crouched down to rest on his heels and consider Naruto, hand on his chin. 

“May I look at your teeth?” 

“Sure, Chichi-tachi.” 

Itachi had a prerequisite knowledge of medical field training that had been expanded upon once he entered ANBU. But that was primarily for battle injuries which needed to be dealt with summarily and via a system of triage. 

Naruto’s teeth were a disgrace. 

Cavities were present and plaque was built up near the gums. Some of his baby teeth were missing and new adult teeth were coming in, but, pervading his mouth was the stink of infection. There, behind the sharper-than-normal incisors - Itachi guessed the Kyuubi had everything to do with those - was a throbbing cyst cratered around a molar. 

Naruto had an abscessed tooth. And it was fairly far along. 

A flare of indignation rose up in Itachi and continued to rise the more he processed this information. 

The ANBU were frequently doled out shifts to watch Naruto from the shadows. Make sure he didn’t get into any life-threatening mischief and that none of the citizens targeted him of course. 

But wasn’t he supposed to receive regular check-ups? What had the Hokage been thinking? 

“When was your last doctor’s visit?” Itachi questioned. 

“I never got to go. I never got really sick like the other kids. Back when I was at the orphanage.” 

Maybe the answer to that was also the Kyuubi. The Hokage once told Itachi not to worry if Naruto scraped himself some climbing trees and whatnot when the teen expressed concern about such an incident after one of his own shifts watching the Jinchuuriki. Sarutobi-san had alluded to the kid having a wealth of chakra reserves. 

But what did that entail, exactly? That Naruto was beyond minor physical harms? Obviously not since he’d been at mercy of the cruel shop owner and not exited the altercation unscathed. Even if he healed quickly from this, pain was still pain. 

Itachi’s gut churned. 

He knew too that the Hokage paid to have Naruto stay in his own apartment after the orphanage turned him out. That didn’t explain his teeth though. 

“Have you ever been to the dentist?” 

“What’s a den-test?” 

Itachi breathed in through his nose, eyebrows going up. 

“I don’t like tests,” Naruto grumped. “I’m no good at ‘em.” 

He looked away from Itachi in shame. 

Itachi went to his pack and got out his toothbrush and toothpaste. He passed these and his water canteen to Naruto. He was glad to see from the boy’s expression he at least knew what the toothbrush and toothpaste were. 

“Brush your teeth but do it very carefully. We’ll need to get your teeth looked at as soon as we are able.” 

Naruto took the items happily. 

“I used to do that at home but I lost my toothbrush and ran outta toothpaste” he told Itachi. 

“Why didn’t you purchase replacements?” the teenage asked. 

In answer, Naruto shifted the things he was holding into the crook of one arm, nearly dropping everything, and used his free hand to pull a cartoonish frog wallet out of a pant pocket that, for as small as it was, still managed to look huge in his grasp. 

Itachi sighed. 

Nobody presided over how he spent his allowance, then. No wonder he’d been in an alley dumpster foraging for food. This was an unforgivable and certified disaster. 

Itachi resolved that **if** ever he should return to the village, which was not remotely in his meticulously laid out plans, he would have strong words to say about this. 

Strong **pointed** words. Kunai poised at certain throats for sure. 

The heaviness of his thoughts on the idiot authorities of Konoha which spiraled into thoughts about his own conniving clan members and how too many adults in the world ruined things either through greed or neglect must have registered on his face. 

Naruto muttered through the foam of the toothpaste in his mouth as he brushed his teeth. 

“Aww-woo-kay-mistah-easel?” 

Itachi nodded. 

“Get some sleep, Kit-kun. We have a big trek ahead of us tomorrow.” 

The nickname left Itachi’s lips without him really thinking about it. And before he knew it, Naruto was snuggled next to him on their pallet under the stars. 

What a curious situation his existence was rapidly becoming. 

* * *

A week later saw the duo walking through an out-of-the-way town somewhere in the Land of the Wind. Naruto wasn’t used to the hotter air which irritated his skin but was too newly fascinated by sand (that is - more sand than a person encounters in the average playground sandbox) to find it bothersome. Itachi had had to keep him close when they skirted around the Demon Desert; Naruto liked to try and dive into random sand dunes as if they were leaves in the fall. 

Itachi wasn’t unused to lecturing. Ever since Sasuke had been born, the elder Uchiha brother took on the job of keeping him safe by informing him about things that were dangerous and why. Itachi’s father had been too busy with clan matters to be much of a parent so when baby Sasuke put something in his mouth he wasn’t supposed to, Itachi was there to bat it out of his chubby hands; when Sasuke grew and wanted to learn the ins and outs of a ninjutsu technique, Itachi taught him how to execute it properly so he didn’t accidently hurt himself. 

The thirteen-year-old mused that due to his family’s dynamics, he was already well accustomed to this quasi-parent role to the Jinchuuriki he came to be in. 

Sand kicked up under their feet as they walked towards a building. A crude sign board with a tooth painted on it hung off the building’s side from an iron rod. This place looked shabby but the dentist came recommended from one of Itachi’s contacts. 

The missing nin was grateful that thanks to his missions for ANBU he’d plenty of those scattered here and there. Finally, today they’d get Naruto’s teeth fixed. 

“Hold my hand” Itachi told the excitable blond. 

Naruto took his hand and swung their joined limbs, giggling. Itachi played along and swung his arm in unison to amuse him. 

“Thanks for always holdin’ my hand Chichi-tachi. Even as Mr. Weasel.” 

It took a minute for Itachi to piece together what he was saying. 

“Ah. You’re referring to when I was in ANBU.” 

Itachi had occasionally been assigned to escort Naruto to the Hokage’s office. The child wasn’t old enough to respond to a summons without getting distracted and possibly wandering off so ANBU were typically dispatched to bring him there. Most thought the task a chore and would simply toss Naruto like a sack of potatoes over their shoulder and hoof it from the Jinchuuriki’s squalid apartment to the political structure in the center of town. 

From what he’d been told, Naruto never objected to this form of travel and actually seemed to delight in it with shrieks of laughter which almost blew out the eardrums of his put-upon Black Ops compatriots. 

But Itachi made a point of journeying on foot with Naruto from his apartment to the Hokage’s office. Unless it was an emergency, Itachi desired to treat the boy with a modicum of respect. 

Itachi recalled that he’d never said anything during those trips. He’d been silent and polite and Naruto, so content over the fact someone was holding his hand, followed his lead. He’d hum notes of some nursery rhyme with too much energy and grip his hand like a mini vice but otherwise he’d stay quiet. 

On those assignments, Itachi would stare out the eye slits in his Weasel mask and mark each look of distaste, each glare thrown Naruto’s way without the kid perceiving them. 

Either by way of acute ignorance or willful ignorance, he wasn’t sure. 

What mattered was that Itachi never failed his missions. 

“Yup. You hold my hand and so does Doggie. Sometimes, Doggie puts me on his shoulders so I can reach fruit in trees. You two are my favorites!” 

Doggie? 

He must mean Hound, Itachi reasoned. Hound was one of the best ANBU to ever belong to the Leaf in Itachi’s opinion. They both held exemplary track records and Itachi had no problem admitting that if someone could compete with him as a spy or assassin, it was that man. 

That man, who Itachi suspected was Kakashi Hatake. 

Really, what was the son of the White Fang thinking not hiding his patent shocks of odd grey hair behind anything? It made _the two_ masks he wore rather useless, did it not? 

They proceeded with their dentist visit. 

Naruto’s mouth hurt terribly afterwards and he was fatigued. Itachi took him to a restaurant and ordered a bowl of ramen broth for him to sip on once the numbness in his jaw wore away. The warm liquid helped ease the pain and brought something of a smile back to his face. Itachi really couldn’t tell with all the puffiness. 

While they dined, Itachi thought of various stratagems. 

He would die someday by Sasuke’s hand. He’d laid the groundwork for his clan’s justice over his betrayal to specifically be meted out by the candidate and Uchiha who deserved the honor. 

Madara, if he really was Madara, would never count. 

Next on the docket was his vow to the Third to sniff out intel on an organization resurrected from the previous shinobi war that he just so happened to have an open invitation to join: the Akatsuki. 

It would take time for news on Konoha’s misplaced Kyuubi container to leak. Danzo, power hungry sack of shit that he was, wouldn’t allow the village to be compromised in such a manner for as long as he was able. 

If memory served, Naruto’s whisker markings were not hereditary since his mother, the former Kyuubi container, had not had them. They _could_ ostensibly be passed off as facial lines like Itachi’s. If he dyed Naruto’s hair black would Madara believe Itachi had seen fit to spare a baby cousin as well?

The Uchiha clan had been massive. Naruto might arguably be a distant relative he also held dear. Maybe he decided to bring him along since Danzo’s deal had only extended to Sasuke’s life and no one else? 

The masked man would likely be bemused if Itachi managed to sell the lie. 

And the teen knew if he got that far, Madara would warn him that Naruto’s wellbeing must never come before Akatsuki business and by that same token - that Naruto’s protection **_from_** the Akatsuki from within their ranks would be something Itachi alone was accountable for. 

He could handle that. Itachi had once stopped Sasuke from incinerating the Uchiha compound. How difficult could Naruto be? Owl used to say, if you could hack it through Root training, you could hack it through anything. 

“Naruto-kun, we’re going to meet up with a group of very bad people who’ve asked that I be one of their number. You must go by a code name so we can be on the safe side while we are with them.” 

“Like you went by Weasel and Doggie went by Doggie?” Naruto asked. 

His voice was garbled but relatively comprehensible. 

“Something to that effect, yes.” 

“I wanna be Kit! You already call me Kit and I like foxies!” 

“Have you ever seen a fox?” Itachi asked. 

He was genuinely curious. If the answer was affirmed, was the fox Naruto had seen common or the Kyuubi? 

“Once. In the Back Hills. I saw one.” 

“The Hokage told you not to play in the Back Hills.” 

Itachi knew this because he’d been in the room as an ANBU operative when the Third had given the edict. 

Naruto grinned. “I don’t always listen to Jiji.” 

“I see. Will you listen to me? Or should I drop you back off in Konoha?” 

Naruto nearly knocked his bowl over his hands flew up into prayer position so fast. 

“Nononono! I’ll listen to you! Pinky promise and swear! You’re Chichi-tachi, you look after me more than anybody has!” 

Itachi’s heart panged at that final declaration. But he wanted to impress upon the boy that he meant what he said and weighed Naruto with his eyes before nodding solemnly. 

“Very well.” 

They finished their lunch and moved on. 

The Akatsuki wouldn’t be a cakewalk but Itachi was confident he could balance life inside a terrorist organization as a double agent and the caretaking of a rambunctious child throughout his teen years. Even if said child was the human housing unit for the Nine Tails. 

Owl used to say too, that Weasel was clearly an insufferable perfectionist who enjoyed a challenge. 

* * *

Madara believed him. 

To be honest, Itachi’s heart for his brother was an easy thing to see as transferrable to the dark-headed scamp messing with Madara’s billowing robes. 

Naruto, hair dyed, stood next to the terrorist leader’s legs and closed the Akatsuki cloak around his chin. He looked backwards up at Madara and hooted. 

“I like your mask! It’s orange. That’s the BEST color!” 

“Kit-kun. Come here. Now.” 

Naruto obeyed Itachi’s stern command. 

Madara bent down to Naruto’s level to assess him. 

“He was traumatized by the massacre, huh?” Madara asked Itachi. 

“Yes. I found him but was unable to kill him. He won’t go by his former name. He prefers Kit” Itachi reconfirmed. 

Naruto nodded up and down. “If Weasel-tachi is a Weasel then I get to be a Kit” he told the madman. 

“He could be dealing with the occurrence using a veneer of humor” Madara observed, resting his elbows on his knees. He slapped them suddenly, his voice going from deep and pondering to squealing and guileless. 

“Why Tobi knows how to do that! He does it quite a lot!” 

Naruto leapt back at this strange outburst but figured quickly the adult must be playing a game with him and drew closer, eyes wide and already smiling. 

“Tobi welcomes you to his organization!” 

Madara extended a hand and Naruto shook it. The child tried to release the handshake but the funny guy held onto him, not applying any pressure to hurt him, just with the strength of his bigger gloved palm over Naruto’s itty-bitty one. 

“You need to call Tobi, Tobi, and keep that he’s the leader a secret, okie-doke? _Szsshhhhh._ ” 

Madara put his fingers to his mask as if he were putting them to his lips and made dramatic shushing noises. Which prompted Naruto to imitate this, naturally. 

“If you don’t, Weasel-tachi will get in _biiiiigg huuuuuggge_ **trouble.** ” 

The seven-year-old’s eyes now widened in fear. Especially since Madara had dropped his baby voice to darkly utter the word ‘trouble’. 

“Yes, uh-huh, gottit! Mr. Tobi, sir!” 

Naruto kept shaking his hand to prove he would do what Madara said. 

Madara, or _**Tobi**_ , ruffled Naruto’s hair and stood. 

“Excellent. Report at the rendezvous in Sound. Don’t be laa~ate.” 

With a singsong trill, Madara disappeared. Itachi barely suppressed a shiver.

They had a long way to go, yet somehow Itachi liked the prospect of being on foot versus hitching a ride with whoever, _**whatever**_ , Madara aka Tobi was. 

* * *

Months passed. 

Itachi’s initial impression of Orochimaru was that he did not care for Orochimaru. 

To add to that, he would have been overjoyed if Orochimaru had never been conceived into this world or realm at any perceivable time be it past, present, or future. 

The man had joined the Akatsuki not long after Itachi and Naruto had gotten comfortable therein as two moles, who were also two peas in a pod, could be. If that statement was too generous then at the very least Itachi was a competent mole who fed information back to Konoha and Naruto was his lovable child sidekick posing as his cousin. But the Sannin took an interest in them both and threw their rhythm off kilter. 

Not to mention, he was a major creep. 

He would follow them when they went off to train between missions and Itachi had the devil of a time getting him off their tails. Naruto was coming along in his practices. He’d quickly mastered walking on trees and water and other basic skillsets under Itachi’s tutelage. Indeed, Itachi loved training the boy since teaching came naturally to him and it reminded him of moments from another life spent with his little brother. 

However, once Orochimaru was introduced to the group, Itachi often felt snake-like eyes on his back during he and Naruto’s lessons. 

Orochimaru liked to talk to Naruto about Konoha and made him custom toys like a spinning top and a kite. Itachi, if he had the extra money, spent it on their food, clothes, medicine, and weapons. But Naruto didn’t fathom how Uncle Snake Face could be as rotten as Itachi said he was. When Naruto nearly left with Orochimaru so the Sannin could show him how to fly his kite, Itachi came close to having a heart attack. 

That wasn’t a trite exaggeration either, his chest really had been seizing up lately. The timing was dreadful. Itachi’s duties to the Akatsuki were snowballing and would be less burdening if he had a partner to split them between, only Biwa had recently died on him, the criminal wretch. 

_So help Itachi, if Madara thought to pair him with Uncle Snake Face……._

Itachi ground his teeth. 

Naruto’s birthday was around the corner. Hidan had suggested the most age inappropriate gift ideas ever. Sasori offered to make Naruto **into** a puppet, Zetsu had argued with himself, Itachi didn’t trust Konan’s origami, and the rest were just as useless or worse! 

At his substantial wit’s end, Itachi waited until Naruto was asleep to look through his frog wallet where he now collected his most treasured items. 

It was full of toys and bobbles from Orochimaru! Everything from marbles that doubled as ninja smoke pellets to ornate finger traps to a **gold foiled and fox embossed deck of cards.**

Itachi clicked the wallet shut, seething. 

Naruto snored peacefully beside him on his cot. 

The Jinchuuriki’s guardian traced the wallet’s cheap clasp pretending to be the frog’s goofy lips. Wistfully, Itachi remembered the first time he told Naruto a story. A good method to get Sasuke to settle down for bed was with theatrical retellings of legendary ninja warriors and their deeds and clashes on sprawling battlefields. But Naruto at seven hadn’t been very patient with Itachi painstakingly recounting lineages or leading up to the fights in a story with too much windy narration. 

Itachi had picked up the frog wallet when the epiphany struck him that Naruto had a fantastical imagination so he needed to begin with something more fantastical. 

He weaved for Naruto, a picture of the mystical Toad Sages and their secluded mountain far, far away. 

For many moons after that, Naruto would listen to each tale until he fell fast asleep and practically beg Itachi to tell him another the next bedtime. 

He was less spastic now and Itachi could add in more historical context to his stories. His own parents had let him have access to their clan’s personal library rather than entertain him with fantasies after the tender age of four. Itachi was giving Naruto stylized accounts of former Hokages and the founders of the different nations without him catching on just yet. 

Itachi smirked - sure Naruto would forgive him for the trickery when he was older. 

Lacking the Sannin’s resources, Itachi was hard up to produce something he could he give Naruto for his birthday that wasn’t simply more knowledge. 

Then he had a thought. Well, truly another memory. 

Once upon a time Fugaku Uchiha had taken his immediate family on a holiday to the coast. 

That was it! 

* * *

Their party, or most of it, caravanned part of the way to a meet-up that Pein ala Madara had ordained. 

Each member was dangerous enough alone and more so in pairs, so the company not only wasn’t bothered as they traveled - if someone saw them coming down the road they literally either got off the road or took the path back to where they’d come from. Their group currently included Kakuzu, Hidan, Orochimaru, Itachi, and…. Kit-kun. 

Since they were less than a mile away from the Land of Lightning’s western sea, just north of the Village Hidden in the Clouds, Itachi had convinced the other adults to let him take a detour in order for Naruto to see the ocean. 

He’d had to bribe Kakuzu with monetary debt and Hidan with a spar later to ease his boredom, but it would be worth the price, Itachi knew. 

Orochimaru had agreed without a fuss and smiled his best eerie smile like he knew more than Itachi about everything and always would. Which the Uchiha highly doubted. Orochimaru was cunning and learned but he wasn’t the all-knowing godling he so strived to be – not by a long shot. 

Itachi sent the Sannin, who walked behind Naruto and he, the occasional glower. Chiefly, to ensure he wouldn’t spoil the boy’s surprise. 

“You guys are actin’ weird. Where are we going? Are we there yet?” Naruto chirped. 

“It’s beyond the crest of that dune.”

Nartuo looked at the sandy hill Itachi pointed to and squinted his eyes almost shut in a cat-like frown. 

“Hmmm,” he murmured uncertainly. “You know, I’ve seen the desert before. You took me there, ‘member?”

“I do,” said Itachi. “But this is not that. This is for your birthday.” 

“Oh wow! Cool!” 

Without waiting for them, Naruto scurried up the dune speedily, disrupting the edge of the beach in his wake. On the other side of the hill, Itachi heard the jubilant reception of his birthday present. 

“IT’S THE _**OCEAN**_ , CHICHI-TACHI! THE. OCEAN. **IS. OVER HERE!!** ” 

Orochimaru chuckled. Hidan cackled. Kakuzu scoffed and said something under his breath that sounded a whole lot like, “It’s not as if it’s money.” 

Itachi joined Naruto, who’d already galloped across the beach and into the great waves lapping at the shore. 

“Don’t go in too deep,” he called. “There are riptides, jellyfish, and other potential perils in the western sea.” 

“Fuck Itachi, could you sound any more like a mother hen?! You’re fourteen-fuckin’-years-old man!!” Hidan brayed. 

“Fifteen” Itachi corrected him. 

Hidan tried to cuff him but Itachi effortlessly dodged, not even deigning to glance in his direction. The Jashin worshipper snarled but quickly lost interest in the prodigy when he saw Naruto splashing about having juvenile fun without him. 

“Hey, wait for me punkass!” 

Hidan stripped and almost body slammed the kid in the shallows, cackling all the while. Naruto, luckily, saw the immense shadow hurtling towards him and swam out of the area which constituted as the main pancaking zone. 

Itachi resolved to make the high priest pay for his language and antics around the kit by trouncing him so wickedly in their upcoming spar, that Hidan _would wish_ he could die. 

After chopping him neatly like sashimi, Itachi would be inclined, as his teammate, to let him pull himself back together. But mayhaps Itachi wouldn’t permit **every** piece of Hidan to return and some bits and ends not necessary for their Akatsuki assignments would wind up at the bottom of the ocean. 

Kakuzu, Hidan’s partner, wouldn’t be perturbed by the comeuppance. He’d endorse it as hilarious. 

Let it never be said that Itachi, though placid in nature, was a push-over or overly forgiving. 

“Come on, come on! Everybody take your shoes off. The sand feels better between your toes than desert sand does! Do it!” 

Naruto splashed Hidan and the man retaliated by hoisting the kid up in the air, arm around his middle, and dunking him down in the water until he flailed. 

“Hidan” Itachi cautioned. 

Oh yes, he was definitely chucking Hidan’s dick in the ocean. 

Hidan let Naruto up for air and to no one’s surprise the Jinchuuriki was giggling and laughing as he thrashed to get out of Hidan’s clutches. When he got loose, Naruto swam out into the water having an absolute ball. 

Itachi did take his shoes off and squidged the sand between his toes. The first and last time he’d done this had been a small measure of years ago but it seemed like ages, like it belonged in one of the stories of the past he told Naruto at night. His violet toenail polish winked mockingly at him under the glare of the sun. He grimaced. 

“It’s not so bad. Pein could have us get matching tattoos” rumbled Kakuzu from nearby. 

The sewing nin had his arms crossed as he watched Naruto and Hidan engage in a Splash War. Mostly, the masochist acolyte kept his play at the temperature of rougher-than-normal roughhousing, since everyone in attendance knew how, if he attempted to actually drown the kid, that Kakuzu would need a new partner. 

Again. 

Feet pattered across the beach to Itachi’s side. The Uchiha noted the hint of black dye running down the child’s neck. What they’d been using to masquerade him as a relative obviously was not to be pitted against salt water. 

“That’s enough for today, Kit-kun. We have to report to Pein-sama. He doesn’t abide tardiness.”

Itachi ignored Naruto’s chorus of ‘awww-mans’ and ‘are-your-seriouses’ and draped his red clouded cloak over the wet boy’s head and scrawny shoulders.

“Dry off under that as we go. We’ll parallel the beach as we walk so you’ll see the ocean for several hours until sundown. Sunsets on the beach are very pretty to watch.” 

Naruto lifted the cloak some to look Itachi in the eyes. He beckoned the teen down to him with a gesture so Itachi leaned over. Naruto kissed him innocently on the cheek, trying in vain to hide the act with the cloak. 

“Thanks for my birthday present, ‘Tachi” he whispered. 

The other men saw it, of course, and guffawed at the blush which spread across Itachi’s ivory skin. Kakuzu sneered at the display of affection but otherwise said nothing. 

Later Naruto did get to watch the sunset. He was in awe of the purples and golds and most of all, the oranges that the sky cascaded with like a molten waterfall of color. 

Itachi didn’t mind that he personally couldn’t enjoy the sunset thanks to a sudden coughing fit. 

It was Naruto’s day. Not his. 

* * *

Victory came at sixteen and it was sweet – _heavenly_. 

After having to endure the Sannin’s stares, his sly questions about his visual prowess, _and his taunts involving Naruto_ \- 

Taunts like, “Surely your _Chichi_ won’t begrudge Uncle Snake Face an afternoon with his one and only nephew?” 

And, “Come now, Itachi-kun. It was only an offer to babysit. You look tired.”

After a plethora of vexations and barbs, Itachi could rid himself of the **nuisance** that was Orochimaru. 

Naruto, the supposed nameless Uchiha cousin, never developed a Sharingan for Orochimaru to scrutinize. But Itachi, a fateful morning, must have come across as too amply tempting a subject for the body-snatching scientist to pass on. 

He forced Orochimaru to cut off his own arm. 

“I’m not sure what to do with you,” he informed the Sannin, who was backing away from him in shock and horror. 

“Whether to kill you right now, or find a way to use you” Itachi continued. 

He could turn Orochimaru’s brains inside out **from** the inside out or make him into a slave to his visual arts, a meat puppet to rival Sasori’s wooden dolls….

But now that Orochimaru had crossed a line and Madara would deem Itachi’s dispatch of the Snake Sannin favorably because of it – Itachi let his habitual machinations fall by the wayside. 

Orochimaru’s death would give him more peace of mind than his servitude ever could. 

A look in Itachi’s eyes, not his Sharingan per say, spoke to Orochimaru of his doom. Though, fate intervened a second time and Itachi was denied his satisfaction. 

That white-haired sycophant with the glasses – what was his name again -? 

Kabuto! 

Kabuto stole Itachi’s kill. 

“I’ll get you back for this!” Orochimaru pledged. 

He fled in a flash of explosive tags that Itachi was unfazed by. Outwardly, he appeared calm but inwardly he felt like one of Hound’s dogs denied a meal. 

It was inconsequential, he reconciled with himself. 

Orochimaru might be dealt with at a later date. 

* * *

Itachi was assigned a new partner, one Kisame Hoshigaki. 

The Monster of the Hidden Mist was prone to aimless brawling like Hidan but he was keener and more astute than the other Akatsuki teams combined. You could quote Itachi on the fact. 

Kisame knew words like ‘oviparous’ and used terms like ‘fratricidal warfare’. 

It was downright disconcerting since he looked like a third-rate mutated fiend fresh from Orochimaru’s laboratory slab. 

The expression he wore after Itachi reminded him that, for as much as he’d done to become a beast - he was still a man, was priceless. Kisame wanted them to be friends but he assumed too much of Itachi’s character and demanded too little of his own. 

Hopefully, he wouldn’t prove to be an obstacle like the Sannin. 

Naruto raced down the dock to greet them both. 

Kisame arched a scaled brow at the ten-year-old and listened as Naruto announced who he was with gusto and concluded his diatribe with, “You better be careful though, Uncle Shark Face, or Chichi-tachi will wipe the floor with you. He’s the greatest ninja to ever live!” 

“That so?” said Kisame before reevaluating Itachi with a fake air of edginess. 

“Guess I’ll haveta keep Sameheda on standby then. You can never be too careful, eh, puny?” 

“I ain’t puny! I’ve grown two inches this year! Two!” Naruto argued. “You’re the one who’s big and ugly!” 

The behemoth shifted the metal tree on his shoulders and brought it down with a ringing thud at Naruto’s feet. The blade was inches away from the kit’s nose and buried a foot or more in the ground. 

“What’d you say to me, pipsqueak?” Kisame asked but his voice was casual, airy. His toothy grin stayed fixed in place but thankfully it wasn’t oily like Orochimaru’s had been. 

Naruto, instead of cowering at the show of might, began shouting and applauding. 

“Daaamn! That was awesome! Can you do that again?! Does your sword ever get heavy? Can you make it dig a hole to the other side of the world?!” 

“Kit-kun, Kisame is not a playground” Itachi scolded him. 

Naruto quit swinging from Kisame’s thick arm like it was a tree branch he was going to climb. He pouted and let go. Then he jogged ahead of them towards the main road. 

“Last one to the dango shop is a rotten egg!” Naruto teased the pair. 

Kisame stroked his chin. “I could go for dango” he decided. 

Itachi narrowed his gaze at his new comrade. “Last one there pays” he said in complete seriousness. 

“You’re on” said Kisame, tone going a shade more cutthroat. 

But Itachi had already Shunshined into the distance before the shark man had gone more than three yards after the kit. 

Itachi beat both Naruto and Kisame to the dango shop and Kisame paid for the dango. 

It was the final time the Monster of the Hidden Mist ever got into a competition with his partner which featured racing. 

* * *

Meeting Deidara was uninspiring. 

Although they had need of the Stone ninja’s talents, the extent to which Itachi had had to exert himself to coerce the younger man to their cause aggregated into nothing other than detaining him with genjutsu and standing silhouetted in the ethereal glow of shrine-light. 

Provided lavishly by the shrine in which they had “fought”. 

Deidara’s prattling speeches about art were something Itachi did not envy Sasori over. 

And the explosives expert reacted caustically to Itachi’s presence whenever he had to be in it – though Itachi suspected it was out of wounded pride more than anything. 

Naruto’s interactions with the bomber were less fraught because Naruto ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ over Deidara’s fireworks, which _were spectacular_ , when the blond brought his artistic genius to bear. 

Deidara also didn’t quite know what to make of Naruto, whom he referred to as ‘the spoiled Uchiha brat’ since Naruto would merely brush off the insults, as Itachi was beginning to instruct him, and say something cryptic in reply. 

Something along the lines of, “Yeah, well – I can talk to foxes and you can’t.” 

Which backfired and made Naruto seem obtuse. Deidara started calling him the _dumb_ Uchiha brat for a time. 

Really, Naruto’s most seminal moment wherein he’d intimidated Deidara had to be when the Stone ninja saw him take down the leader of a Mist ANBU squad with pinpoint shuriken throwing accuracy alone – then go on to devastate the retinue with over **forty** highly trained shadow clones. 

Still, Itachi was partial to the twitch Deidara developed when Naruto first met him and dubbed him: Big Brother Ponytail. 

“ _ **Excuse**_ you, runt,” Deidara had bit back. “I’m Deidara-sama to the likes of you, un.” 

“Nah. You’re Big Brother Ponytail. You gotta learn to fit in just like Bandages Man-”

“Who?!” Deidara asked. 

“Biwa,” said Naruto with a sad shake of his head. “No longer with us. Uncle Shark Face, Uncle Snake Face - no longer with us.” 

Another sad head shake. He counted them each with his fingers. 

“Uncle Plant Face, Uncle Hurt Face, Puppet Man, Money Man, The Guy Who Itachi Castrated That One Time, Aunt Origami, and Mr. Tobi.” 

“Tobi?! That pumpkin-masked moron?! How come he gets an honorific, un?” Deidara yelled. 

The blond had sputtered and then looked to Itachi with foreboding. 

“And _**what do you mean a guy he once castrated?!**_ ”

“Kakuzu stitched everything back” Itachi relayed, nonchalant. 

Deidara stood there gaping like fish on a boat while Itachi waltzed into Akatsuki headquarters, his arm regally tucked in his cloak, and Naruto followed, tucking an arm into his unzipped jacket to mimic him. 

Those had been simpler years……for being a member of the Akatsuki. 

He monitored Sasuke’s movements from afar. He was pleased by how much his brother had achieved in his absence. 

But at eighteen, a medical nin gave Itachi a prognosis. 

Naruto, thirteen, couldn’t look at him without sobbing for weeks. 

And then, the horrendous clusterfuck (a phrase he’d picked up from Hidan) known as Shukuba Town happened. 

* * *

They were supposed to head off Jiraiya the Gallant in Shukuba, who was there looking for the Jinchuuriki and intercept the Nine Tails themselves. 

Pein had given this order through shinenha waves to Itachi, Kisame, and their resident mascot: Naruto.  
The irony. 

Jiraiya was located investigating a building and Itachi used genjutsu on a local beautiful woman in order to lure the Sannin out so they might inspect the place. 

How farcical, searching an inn for Naruto while he was right there by his side. When Itachi shut a door to yet another Kyuubi-less room, however, matters took a turn for the worst. 

“Long time no see, Sasuke” he intoned. 

He’d need to lay this on thick – Kisame was right there. The Monster of the Hidden Mist had seen him vanquish opponents with ruthless precision even on the easier missions. 

Sasuke made it difficult for him and refused to stay down. Itachi never knew half of his soul could be screaming with pride while the other half screamed in agony. 

He broke his brother’s wrist, kicked and threw him against a wall, **even trapped him in Tsukuyomi.**

But it was better, he convinced himself, then blowing his cover. Kisame, his _friend_ , would leave him and Sasuke to their ‘fratricidal warfare’ on Itachi’s terms but not if he knew Itachi was a spy – that Itachi was a traitor…

Jiraiya arrived on the scene later than anticipated. He preoccupied Naruto and Kisame. 

“Stand back, kiddo” was the cursory warning Kisame gave before swinging Samehada around. 

Jiraiya used Gamaguchi, the toad mouth trap, which did precisely as its name entailed. Naruto and Kisame’s feet were soon incased in esophageal tissue. Uncle Shark Face was able to slice through the pink fleshy mush with Samehada. 

“They say you kidnapped him” Sasuke rasped. 

Itachi turned his attention back on his brother, amazed he was somehow cognizant after Tsukuyomi. 

“Is that him? **Is that who you replaced me with, murderer?!!”**

Sasuke was glaring at Naruto who looked like a deer caught in front of a hunter. Jiraiya even halted his attack to consider the raven-headed junior Akatsuki with the strange whisker markings, as if fully seeing him for the first time. 

Gamaguchi suctioned up around Itachi’s calves. He used a lenient amount of Amaterasu to free himself. 

This was their cue to leave.

Itachi cast Sasuke’s weakened form into Jiraiya’s arms and the trio made a run for it. The Uchiha prodigy used a decent amount of Amaterasu to get them out of the Toad’s throat.

Once in the clear and retreating across a creek-bed, Kisame shunned him for his cowardice. 

Itachi maintained that the Jinchuuriki had not been in Shukuba. It was needless for them to waste energy fighting a legendary Sannin if there was no prize to bring back to Pein. 

Kisame looked behind him at Naruto now and again during their odyssey to the next rendezvous. 

* * *

At the assembly, Pein spoke highly of Naruto aiding Kisame and Itachi in the fight against Jiraiya the Toad Sage, his former sensei. That was no mean feat. 

He finished his transmission by giving Naruto the same invitation Itachi had been bequeathed at thirteen: a choice to become an official member of the Akatsuki. 

Itachi’s rainbow static eyes pierced the flickering figure of his charge. Naruto’s shoulders tensed but he wisely thanked Pein for the offer and requested time to think on it. The Jinchuuriki glanced over to Tobi’s shadowy self which was practically oozing mirth at the entire affair. He winked at Naruto with his vermillion iris through the image of the mask he donned. 

Their conversations over, the assembly came to a close. 

Kisame said nothing when Itachi took Naruto on a walk to discuss this evolvement of his status. 

* * *

The road was damp with late night dew. Cicadas generated a background cacophony that was more pleasant to listen to than silence. Stars twinkled above them. They walked side by side gazing at them as they exited the canopy of the forest and entered a wide space with wide skies. 

Naruto laced his hands together behind his neck and crooked his elbows up to his ears, a sign he was feeling either at ease or pensive. 

Tonight, it was pensive. 

The road wound through sparkling rice paddies missing their usual farmers in the evening hush. 

“You need to go back to the village. This life is not for you” Itachi said softly. 

Naruto cast him a sidelong smirk. 

“Well duh, the black nail polish doesn’t suit me like the rest of ya.” 

Itachi wanted to take the ribbing with a smile like he usually would but discovered he was unable to. 

“Madara and Pein will converge on the One Tail and the other tailed beasts. You won’t be able to fly under their radar forever.” 

Naruto looked at him, biting his lip and said slowly, “I could help you pass information back to Konoha. Ask to replace Kisame as your partner. Pein could recruit someone else for him. We’ll be spies together.” 

“No.” 

“But-”

“ **No.** ” 

Naruto was about to argue more but Itachi cut him off. 

“Konoha is your home-”

 _“You’re my home!”_

Naruto’s desperate protest knocked Itachi for a loop. Like with Sasuke in Shukuba he felt split down the middle with positive and negative emotions, with joy and frustration. 

“I will not let you follow in my footsteps. This is beyond discussion.” 

“No it idn’t! You don’t want me to be like you? Fine! I’m still not leaving you alone with the psycho uncles and the aunt who puts people in paper death cocoons – you hear?!” 

Itachi did hear. It was his sight he was taking umbrage with these days. 

“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” Itachi said with conviction. An illusion that was shattered by a fit of coughing that went on until flecks of blood appeared in his hand. 

Naruto supported him while he was bent over, hacking up a proverbial lung. 

The Jinchuuriki had never frowned harder. When he spoke again his voice sounded more frail and childlike than Itachi had heard in years. 

“You’re falling apart. Who’ll be there to help pick you up, make sure you take your medicine… if not me?” 

Naruto Uzumaki. Would he always hold the wellbeing of others up so brightly and consistently? Not if he joined the Akatsuki. His kind soul would be tarnished and his purpose corrupted. Itachi would not allow that to happen.

“They’ll kill you, Naruto-kun. And before doing so they will break you and make you a killer. I’m dying, as you know, but that would surely finish me off quicker. My lights would go out with me.”

Itachi had committed the taboo in uttering the truth about his terminal illness and impending blindness. Naruto gasped and began to cry at the unfair circumstance they were in. 

He cried until he had to wipe the tears and snot off of his face with a jacket sleeve but that did nothing to cure the pain building in his chest. 

Itachi hugged him. 

Naruto sniffled and leaned into the hug. 

“You’ll do just fine, Naruto-kun. You’re a brave ninja with many skills. Dark days lie ahead and the people of the Village Hidden in the Leaves mustn’t be without their light. Did I not tell you what you were long ago? Not an abomination. But a child of destiny.” 

Itachi rubbed soothing circles near his shoulder blades before patting the boy on the back. Naruto seemed to put himself back into something solid again after turning himself into a puddle. 

“Gaara no Sabaku,” he muttered, gradually pulling away from Itachi. “Gaara of the Sand.” 

“What about him?” Itachai inquired. 

“Sasori says he’s the One Tail. And that they keep him imprisoned in a special bunker in Suna. Cuz he’s crazy and went on a rampage when he was little…” 

Naruto trailed off but Itachi could surmise the kid’s train of thought. It played out before him in the expressions which were each species of concern and/or solidarity. 

“Intelligence tells us the One Tail has a faulty seal” Itachi acknowledged. 

“If I have to go. Maybe I can help him first. We’re the same sorta” said Naruto. 

Itachi saw the determination mounting as Naruto warmed to the idea and although he admired the sentiment, he applied brakes to the notion instantly. 

“Your place is in Konoha. It’s where you belong. Besides, Gaara requires a seal master. If you wish to assist him, you’ll need advanced training with someone who is proficient in that area.” 

“Aren’t you supposed t’be proficient at _everything_ ninja, ‘Tachi?” 

They’d come full circle to teasing again. This pleased Itachi. Still, he ‘humphed’ dryly in response to the kit’s sarcasm. 

“The One Tail is not your problem. It’s Suna’s.” 

Itachi was set on putting the kibosh on Naruto’s virtuous side-errand before their walk was done. 

The Jinchuuriki who’d been raised for all extensive purposes by the most brilliant Uchiha of the century shot the afore-mentioned Uchiha a mutinous look. 

“You said sometimes to do what’s right and smart, we have to realize that other’s problems can lead to our own,” Naruto accused. His blue eyes flashed. “You were strong for your village cuz you knew that better than anybody else. You were **stronger** than anybody else.” 

Since when was the universe in the habit of throwing Itachi’s advice in his face? It was **irritating** and something he was peripherally aware of while he dealt with the clench of sorrow which enveloped him whenever he was reminded of the massacre. 

Naruto broke eye contact, guilty for even bringing those black memories up. He didn’t need to be. The Akatsuki remarked often on Itachi’s cruelty as a part of his reputation that was laudable. Kisame essentially _basked_ in it to an unhealthy degree. 

“I’m going to save Gaara if I can” said Naruto. 

And there it was. 

_Damn it all._

“I ask that you please acquire the proper training if that is a fixed goal you have.”

Naruto nodded. 

To the Kyuubi container it was written in stone. No one had been there for Gaara just like no one was there for Naruto. Perhaps even less so for the One Tail. But then Naruto had gotten Itachi. Someone had suddenly been there for him. Wells of sympathy and feelings of fellowship swirled inside him when he thought of Gaara of the Sand, indeed _any_ of the other demon containers who’d no doubt led separate and likely lonely lives from their respective communities. 

“What’ll you do?” Naruto asked his guardian. 

“Keep tabs on you and Sasuke.” 

Their jaunt was curving back to where they’d started and soon they’d be within shouting range of their campsite shared with Kisame. 

“Word reached me after we left Shukuba that Sasuke has deserted the village in order to train under Orochimaru.” 

The news tasted almost too sour to confess. Yet between the cicadas and Naruto’s companionable reserve, Itachi was tranquil enough to open up. 

“He bears the Sannin’s curse mark as well. I knew he’d go in search of the power to defeat me but I never assumed -”

Itachi’s throat tightened. 

“I may have to resort to other tactics to guarantee he doesn’t stray too far.” 

“With that stupid crow plan?” asked Naruto, shaking his head. “No offense, ‘Tachi but it is super lame. If he wants to stand for Konoha, let him do it because he wants to. With his own will of fire. Not yours.” 

From the stubborn tilt of Naruto’s chin, Itachi knew he’d lose if they began to talk about Kotoamatsukami. He’d taught the boy ethics and emphasized the importance of the concept of merit. A desire to protect Konoha being imparted to Sasuke forcefully would be seen as borrowed merit from Naruto’s point of view. 

Itachi inhaled, preparing himself to say what he had to before they made it to the camp. 

“Promise me you’ll go after him. If I can’t -. If I die before -”

“Stop” Naruto cut in. He sounded half angry and half panicked. 

“Stick with him after I’m gone” Itachi finished his entreaty. 

The kit looked as if he’d been lanced and his lips twitched up in a grimace that showcased his Kyuubi incisors. 

“I’ll be his brother. S’long as he’ll let me” Naruto promised. 

“Good. That’s good.” 

Itachi exhaled in relief. 

The Monster of the Hidden Mist was waiting for them at the edge of the campfire. He saw too much for Itachi’s liking with his luminous pupils wedged against the flat black of his sclera. Additionally, he was being quieter than usual and resting his sword hand too regularly on the hilt of Samehada for the Uchiha to not ascertain they were in danger. 

Naruto must return to Konoha. 

Soon. 

* * *

They were on a bridge over a gorge when the scene went down. 

“You permitted our quarry to escape” said Itachi in his most dour monotone. 

“Aww shuddup, Itachi” Naruto griped as he walked the ropes securing the bridge. 

The younger teen jumped from one side of ropes to the next, flawlessly balanced. Kisame and Itachi meanwhile walked on the bridge’s planks like normal travelers. 

“He was crucial and had data on the One Tail” Itachi continued. 

Naruto whipped around, pivoting fast on the rope and SLAPPED Itachi across the face. 

“I said shut up!” he shouted. 

An impossibly strained and lethal silence followed. Kisame watched on like a judge who was also a statue, Samehada customarily perched on his massive frame. 

“Didn’t see that didja?” Naruto jeered. “Tch. You really are gettin’ old _and_ blind, Itachi.” 

He landed in front of the Uchiha and waved a hand in front of the Sharingan to better make fun of Itachi’s failing vision. Naruto laughed with venom. 

“Maybe Kisame should be your Seeing Eye Shark. No wonder Pein needs to add some new blood to the group.” 

“Blood, is it?” Itachi mused, furious but otherwise unmoving. 

Naruto stretched his arms. He was oblivious to the storm he was calling down on himself and kept crowing, turning his back on his superiors. 

“I don’t care if you don’t want me to join. It’s cuz you’re jealous! And you know what? **You should be.** I’m totally gonna surpass you anyways.” 

“That is not part of _reality_ , foolish boy” Itachi hissed. 

Kisame had Samehada torn from him and swung with vindictive force that was sheer and physical and raw. Something Kisame could appreciate. 

Samehada clove Naruto from just next to his neck down his back and midsection to roundabout his navel. Blood spurted forth from his body in geysers. Itachi placed his foot on Naruto’s spasming trunk and with minor struggle, began excavating the daito. 

“You are unworthy. Not even worthy of perishing from these _**blind eyes.**_ ” 

Naruto swayed and Itachi kicked his nigh bisected corpse off the bridge. 

Kisame’s intense fratricide complex had him relishing this brutal quarrel. 

He never suspected he was entangled in the mercurial depths of Itatchi’s genjutsu. 

* * *

Naruto skipped merrily up the highway in the broad daylight. He might be a teenager but he had an inner child that anyone could see he would never grow out of. 

Itachi, who’d managed to get a reprieve from Kisame, trudged behind him. 

The sun’s rays bounced off Naruto’s hair, blond once more, like electrical sparks. 

Itachi’s head was protected from the glare by his kasa and the wind played with the tendrils of cloth that hung from the conical hat. He paused to take his medicine as he went up the steep hill after the Jinchuuriki. 

Perhaps, due to his condition, he was as good as an elderly man, he reflected morosely. 

His charge waited for him at the hill’s crest, buzzing with nervous excitement. 

“Are you sure ‘bout this, ‘Tachi. I mean, we tricked the Akatsuki but who’d be able to teach me better than you?” 

Itachi used Naruto’s shoulder for support and dragged himself the rest of the way up the hill. He squeezed it to reassure him. 

“He agreed to meet us at the well closest to Ryuchi Cave” Itachi told Naruto for the dozenth time. 

“Can we peek inside the Cave? Just for a second? I wanna meet the kyodaija and see if those stories you told me are really real!” 

“Puh. How else would a Snake Sage become a sage if they weren’t,” Itachi redressed him. “We’ll leave the kyodaija alone. Like snakes in the wild, they won’t provoke you if you don’t provoke them.” 

“Whaddabout Orochimaru?” Naruto asked impishly. 

“Your…. _**Uncle Snake Face**_ doesn’t have the forbearance of a common serpent. He courts his destruction routinely. Do not pattern yourself after him.” 

Naruto giggled. He knew of how Orochimaru had challenged Itachi in an effort to subsume his body and abilities. The Snake Sannin might be a proclaimed genius but he should’ve thought twice on that one. 

Itachi’s clan instigated a coup and Itachi slaughtered them. The shop owner who beat the tar out of Naruto got beaten consecutively by Itachi. Orochimaru made the infinitely poor decision of trying to add Itachi to his menagerie of leeched from cadavers and had to chop his own **friggin’ arm off.**

Lesson and moral: don’t start drama with Itachi Uchiha – **he’ll end you** and your shit show. 

“Guess you’re more like the kyodaija then he’ll ever be, huh ‘Tachi? You’re pretty nice ’nless people provoke you first.” 

“Inciting tumult is the vice of the imbecilic” Itachi lectured. 

Naruto burst into laughter at how erudite and austere Itachi occasionally was. Like a sophisticated professor who spent his free time sequestered in the dust of tomes and scrolls. 

“Geeze, why don’t _you_ apply for sage-hood, Mr. Mega Wise?” Nartuo joked. 

Itachi swiped at him playfully but Naruto Shunshined out of his range. His chortles rang out the remainder of the short distance that was left to the well. Itachi grumbled but didn’t bother Shunshining to catch up. After taking the medicine it would upset his stomach. 

_Kami, how was he actually eighteen?_

What would Shisui say? 

Itachai grumbled more. 

“Beat’cha, slow poke” Naruto bragged once Itachi came to the well. 

“ **YOU!** ” a shout roared across the clearing. 

Jiraiya the Gallant, approaching on the highway from the opposite direction, dropped his rucksack in stupefaction when he identified Itachi. The man composed himself quick however and made a beeline for them. 

“ _You’re_ the spy who’s been channeling intel to us?”

Jiraiya looked Itachi up and down with wariness and disbelief. This was warranted. Itachi’s entire, well – would you refer to it as a backstory? – was an S-class secret and on a need-to-know basis. 

“I am,” said Itachi. “I came in person to correspond the latest movements of the Akatsuki.” 

“I know,” Jiraiya fumed. “Hime commanded me to come get it from you. She coulda given me a heads up though. That woman.” 

“I’m also here to deliver the Jinchuuriki back to Konoha. I failed to impart that it was I who absconded with him six years ago but the rumors circulating the village are accurate.” 

“Yo!” Naruto saluted the Toad Sage. 

Jiraiya’s jaw fell open. 

Yellow cowlicks, cerulean orbs, an infectious smile – it was the Fourth’s son. No mistake. 

Jiraiya snorted and glared at Itachi after he’d processed what he was being told. 

“Failed to impart my ass! You surprise adopted him didn’t you, Uchiha?” 

Itachi chose to watch some butterflies frolicking towards the proximity of the flowering vines that grew around the well. He didn’t have to give his village elder an answer to such questions if he didn’t want to. Jiraiya was hardly ever in the village anyway and hence hardly in the position to berate him. 

The Sannin frowned when the teenager had the gall to petulantly ignore him. The brat. 

His attention boomeranged back to the Fourth’s son. He put his hands on his hips and grinned broadly at the Jinchuuriki. 

“So you’re Naruto Uzumaki? I’m Jiraiya the Toad Sage. I met you when you were a baby although you probably don’t remember. I’m also your godfather!” 

“Wow! Really?!” 

Naruto was overly dazzled by this factoid in Itachi’s opinion. If Jiraiya the Gallant was truly so gallant, where had he been after the Kyuubi attack which left his godson orphaned in a village hostile to his very existence? Oh, that’s right – off traversing the globe, chasing tail and penning dirty novella for his uneducated fan base. 

(Somewhere in the world – Kakashi Hatake had the most powerful sneeze of his life.)

“Haha – that’s right!” Jiraiya boomed. “It’s great to see you again, kid. Although I s’pose we were already kinda reunited in Shukuba. My suspicions about you were correct! Not that I’m surprised, I am a renowned novelist after all.” 

And a renowned windbag, Itachi thought with a tad too much heated derision. 

“I dunno if you’re _that_ smart. You fell for that Fancy Lady Trap extra quick in Shukuba” Naruto pointed out. 

Itachi suppressed his fit of laughter until he was visibly **shaking.**

Jiraiya blustered. 

“Heeeeey, that’s quite a high a bar to set, doncha think? Fancy ladies are every man’s trap. You’ll understand before long.” 

Naruto squinted his eyes at Jiraiya, unconvinced. “Are you who’s gonna teach me seal stuff, Pervy Sage?” 

Jiraiya cocked his head to the side at the nickname but shrugged and chortled. He figured that Pervy Sage was a fair descriptor. 

“Well we’ll haveta see, Naruto. You gotta be skilled and gutsy to be _my_ student. Plus, determined. It’s not for the faint of heart and I don’t take on just anyone. Otherwise I’d never find time to write my books.” 

“Okay then – watch this!” Naruto yelled. 

Two clones poofed into being next to Naruto and aided him to create the Rasenshurikan. Which the boy then unleashed on the countryside, annihilating a swath of trees. 

Jiraiya was dumbfounded worse than before. His eyes seemed ready to pop out of his skull. 

“I can verify that he holds every qualification to be your student” Itachi told the Sannin. 

The position of the sun caused the Uchiha to realize that it was nearing noon. If he didn’t depart, Kisame would come in search of him. 

“I must bid you farewell, Naruto-kun. Go with Jiraiya-sensei and learn all you can.” 

The smile vacated Naruto’s countenance. He glanced at the dirt and grass under him and shuffled his feet. Itachi waited for him to exchange goodbyes with his classic eternal patience. 

Naruto jettisoned himself into Itachi’s middle like he’d done that fateful night Itachi stole him away from Konoha. 

Itachi hugged the feisty blond troublemaker and the lump that had been in his throat during their walk returned with a vengeance. Tears were pinpricking the ducts in Naruto’s eyes when he glanced up through his lashes at Itachi viewing him from under the brim of his kasa. 

“Don’t forget what I said. Let no one push you around. You’re a child of Konoha, the child of the Fourth Hokage, and….and…my… most polished student.” 

The designation of “polished student” wafted awkwardly between he and this boy he thought of, inexplicably, as his own. 

But Naruto’s loving smile told Itachi that he’d known what he really meant and wanted to say. 

Itachi doffed his kasa and removed the Leaf nin headband he’d still worn through the years. He presented it to Naruto. 

“You’ve more than earned the right to wear it” he decreed. 

Jiraiya had the sense not to intrude on the passing of this particular torch. Naruto’s accepted the headband reverently. He wrapped it around his forehead with unsteady palms. Itachi ruffled his haystack hair. 

“There” he said. 

He turned to Jiraiya, estimating whether or not the Sannin had the wherewithal of nerves to tutor Naruto. The person who housed the Nine Tails was a handful that came around only once a millennia. 

_Huh._

The _**actually**_ elderly man did look physically capable at least. In fine health and made of brawny muscle and well into his fifties. 

Itachi hated him. 

Ryuchi Cave was a couple days’ journey from Konoha. Itachi passed on intelligence of the Akatsuki while Naruto chased butterflies and grasshoppers. 

Soon the Toad Sage and the Jinchuuriki were conveying further adieus and the three of them parted ways. 

Naruto waved vigorously at Itachi. 

“I won’t let you down!” he called to the spy. 

There were birds and a few felled trees to hear Itachi’s response to the kit. 

“I know you won’t.” 

* * *

Itachi got blind stinkin’ drunk. Why not? He was already careening towards complete blindness as it was. That’s how Kisame found him when he came to collect his partner. 

“Great Kami, Itachi!” the shark man groused. “If the urchin meant that much to you why’d you carve him up?” 

They were in a dingy bar on the border of Fire Country. Itachi had emptied so many bottles of sake that some of the patrons were speculating whether or not he was related to the Legendary Sucker. 

Maybe he wasn’t the prodigy everyone celebrated. Maybe he was a hapless and callous idiot who’d made a mess of his life and an even larger mess of others. 

His brother was cursed and gallivanting about with questionable characters who would use and slay him if he didn’t walk on the proper eggshells. His…..charge was now in the custody of a lecherous deviant who may or may not lose the kid in a crowd if the right pair of breasts flounced past. 

And Itachi was to blame. 

Who was the fool Danzo had manipulated with the ultimatum of having the entire Uchiha clan eradicated or eradicating it himself to save Sasuke _when_ surely there was someone he could have gone to? 

Who was the self-righteous thief to pluck the Jinchuuriki away from the security of the village? 

Who was the thrice damned simpleton who’d persuaded himself he wasn’t putting a child’s life in jeopardy by joining a maniac’s posse and bringing said child into their midst? 

Itachi **slammed** the sakazuki down on the table, making a waitress jump. 

“Another” he said raggedly. 

Kisame nodded to the scared girl who worked there and who wasn’t about to disobey members of the Akatsuki, let alone the Monster of the Hidden Mist. 

The mighty monster himself sat down across from Itachi. 

“Tch. You’re lucky we’re only on standby right now. Otherwise I’d haul you outside and trough-dunk you sober. Horse spit and the flies bobbing around in the hot water would clear your head, I’d bet.” 

Itachi made a noncommittal noise. 

There was a man in Konoha who was hailed as the Sublime Green Beast. Mist Monster. Green Beasts….

Itachi thought for as much as he’d done in his relatively brief stay on the planet he deserved his own moniker. 

_The Stone-Cold Cretin_ Not _From Stone_ had a special drunken flair to it. 

“Stone-cold….” Itachi slurred. 

“Sober,” Kisame finished for him. “That’s right, pal. Something you very much aren’t at the moment.”

He suddenly chuckled. “The others won’t believe me. This is out of line for you, Itachi.” 

“Still. You shouldn’t mull over death like this” Kisame _**motherfucking**_ Hoshigaki blithely continued. 

The man-shark-bear-thing who wouldn’t know how to shut up about the survival of the fittest and the countless killings it took emerge as victor and come out on top, etcetera, was telling him this. 

“Families are designed to contend with each other. It’s the hierarchy of the pack.” 

Oh - so they’d moved on from oviparous fish, had they? 

They were on wolves now? 

_**Thrilling.**_

“The pup challenged you and you did what was natural. Survival pursues a strict codex and forever has. There is no room for weaklings who would defy the innate order…” 

Itachi drank sake until Kisame’s nonsense faded to a muffled drone. 

Absently, the random knowledge that shark babies were also referred to as pups floated to the surface of his booze-battered mind. 

Had he done the right thing? 

Had there been no alternative to the massacre? 

They said the road to hell was paved with good intentions. 

And Itachi’s intentions were as good as they came. 

He peered at the three Kisames chatting amiably across from him and wondered what it would be like when the consequences he’d intentionally sown for himself came home to roost. 

Kisame could waste his breath all he desired in telling Itachi not to think on death. 

There was one death which preoccupied Itachi. 

His own. 

And he could feel it better and better, creeping in on him like the dread corners of nightfall, like a shadow on his grave. 

* * *

Once Kisame successfully dislodged him from his cups, Itachi reprimanded himself for his pit stop at the bar. 

It **had** been out of line for him. Getting royally pissed solved nothing as he’d known in theory but having confirmed it personally in practice left him with the self-view that he was incontinent. 

He didn’t repeat squandering his afternoons like that as the weeks ticked down in droves. 

Naruto studied with the Toad Sage and would soon graduate his training as a Toad Sage in sequence. He saved Gaara from himself and then from the Akatsuki as he’d sworn to. 

Fortunately for Itachi, the Akastuki team sent to retrieve Gaara for sacrifice were summarily destroyed before being able to report back. Sasori was taken out by a couple of kunoichi and Deidara’s faked suicide did not slip Naruto’s notice, who knew of the bomber’s ploys, and Hound used his gifted Sharingan to suck the Stone nin wholly into an alternate dimension. 

No one reported to Pein or Madara that the slain Kit-kun had “risen” from the dead, blond, and as the **quite** indomitable Nine Tails container. 

Naruto-kun wasn’t about to let that occur. 

Kakuzu and Hidan perished facing off against the Leaf in turn. 

Itachi’s sterling cover prevailed. 

Even before their numbers began to dwindle, Itachi’s station in the terrorist unit became more aggrandized – not less. 

Kisame had born testament to the group of Naruto’s insolence and Itachi’s remedy to it. The missing Mist nin was Itachi’s shrewd partner and his word wasn’t insulted with examination. That Kisame swallowed the low camp of the “Bridge Incident” as it came to be known amongst them, only soldered the Uchiha to their cause. Or that’s how Madara’s cardinal gaze saw it. 

Itachi found out after the Incident that all in the Akatsuki had entered a betting pool in regards to his true intentions surrounding the boy he’d toted into their world. 

Some were adamant Itachi was insane and bi-polar. A person who could love his relatives and raze them at the drop of a hat. 

Everyone knew their leader, or who they thought was leader, had craved Itachi’s faculties so much that the addendum of the brat was granted under conditions. 

Some hypothesized Itachi took advantage of his baby cousin’s trauma and adopted him so that he might lie in wait if the kid’s Sharingan ever activated – to have him as a back-up to Sasuke. 

Konan charmingly had thought Itachi’s conscience labored too much under the massacre and he’d brought Kit-kun under his wing out of penance. 

None of these theories negated the steel behind Itachi’s actions for the Akatsuki. 

They’d each seen him torture, maim, crucify, immolate, and leave enemies stricken with delirium. 

What angelic moments shared with Kit-kun during the latter’s childhood could outweigh the devilry Itachi evidenced unto them daily? 

Whenever Itachi ached for those pure moments and his focus spun into depression, he had to remind himself that he’d duped the savages. 

The great Akatsuki – elite warriors – famed collectors of the Jinchuuriki – had not perceived that the **strongest Chakra Beast** in the bunch had lived around them for **six actual years.**

The final nail in the satirical coffin? 

That the Nine Tails had been basically referred to as Little Fox Baby during the sham. 

Itachi Uchiha had had the gumption as well as the _audacity_ to pull wool over the nations’ most powerful eyes in such a way that only he could manage. 

If he was found out he’d be flung into multiple levels of hell. And Itachi for one - toasted his soul like a glass, full and spilling with obligations, to **any** prepared to test their grit so as to send him there. 

His life was exclusively forfeit to Sasuke Uchiha. 

Nothing would change that now. 

Itachi waited, equanimous, as the duel approached. 

* * *

It arrived. 

Itachi lounged on the throne he would survey his younger brother’s aptitude from. 

The illusions master’s failing innards didn’t accept a position other than some pronounced recline and rebelled when he tried to straighten his posture. 

This gave him the carriage of unflappable mystique which he extorted. 

Sasuke was riled by his sedate demeanor and fought with verve. Later, Itachi made him fight with trepidation when his mood, evil and halcyon, morphed into evil and deranged. 

“SASUKE!” Itachi bellowed. “YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WILL BECOME MY NEW LIGHT! YOU HAVE MY SPARE EYES!!” 

Playing the villain for nearly a decade had its perks. Itachi summoned every ounce of stagecraft he’d come by and stepped into the role of heinous homicidal turncoat as if it were a beloved garment. 

He took a page out of Kisame’s book and didn’t stiff the diabolic monologue. 

_Tainted bloodline…._ blah, blah, blah……. _Unavoidably entwined with a blood-soaked fate…_ Blather. Blather. Paraphrase. Paraphrase. 

Itachi’s ruse mainly commenced to appease Madara’s informant, Uncle Plant Face. 

Yet it was for Sasuke too. 

If Naruto fulfilled his promise and befriended Sasuke, he would most certainly reveal to him that it was circumventing garbage tailored to not just beguile Sasuke into killing him and thus avenge their clan – but to give him a fight he could savor as he meted out justice. 

Illness or no illness, Itachi refused to live with the crimes he’d committed and wanted Sasuke as his executioner. 

Sasuke could go on to restore their clan. **He would make it right.**

But first there was a reptilian thorn needing to be yanked from both their sides. 

Sasuke manifested a storm and barraged him with _**fucking lightning bolts –**_

Itachi was so proud. 

And then his chakra reserves waned enough to draw the snake out of hiding. 

Orochimaru’s Eight-Headed Serpent Jutsu poured from Sasuke in wriggling coils. Sasuke endured throes of agony as the pearlized hydra emerged to challenge Susanoo. Itachi went about decapitating the worms like they were daisies in a field. 

Soon the Snake Sannin, in the flesh while in flesh, made his appearance. 

“This is it! This is what I’d been waiting for. Thanks to you the repressive chakra is gone and now, _at last_ , I have a chance to take over this child’s body for good!” Orochimaru upbraided Itachai from his lofty height. 

Susanoo made short work of his yammering. 

The Totsuka Blade, a barometer for mystical weapons vetted in the premium sealing arts, began to expel the parasite from Sasuke’s premises. 

“Well, Sasuke. What will you do next, then?” asked Itachi. 

It was the garnish to Orochimaru’s defeat to ignore him as though the man were an insect beneath his regard. 

More delicious than dango. 

Yes – in spite of his outward dismissal, sealing the bastard into a place of drunken stupor for the breadth of eternity, was something Itachi inwardly reveled over. 

The Uchiha spy congratulated himself on studying sealing arts after Naruto’s guardianship had been ceded to Jiraiya. Hours well applied. 

The final march came before Itachi was spiritually prepped for it. 

As a dead man walking, he impersonated his brother’s nemesis to the hilt. 

A crossroads of empathetic thoughts plagued Itachi with each and every stride he forced himself to take. 

He was going ahead of Sasuke and Naruto into the unknown and leaving them behind. His chronic affliction would attend to that if Sasuke abstained. However, having done everything he humanly could for their joint futures – somehow Itachi worried it wasn’t satisfactory. 

He did not believe Sasuke would forgive him if he learned the truth. Itachi did not forgive himself. 

But - could he die at peace, mindful of the obstacles still lying in ambush for the two? 

In another life, one in which he didn’t take the Jinchuuriki, Itachi might’ve captured Naruto for the Akatsuki and helped butcher him like a lamb on the alter. He would’ve lived as a spy, isolated in his emotions, and never known the wattage behind that fox-like grin. 

It made him sick to consider. 

Having to push Sasuke and Naruto from him for their sakes didn’t feel like pushing – it felt like having his very breath ripped out of him and his blood drained for usage in Orochimaru’s tawdry experiments. 

Harrowing. 

_Unfair._

The only hope Itachi assented to cling to was Naruto’s will of fire that would ignite Sasake’s and all the ninja lands. He’d wanted to tell the kit, that he was a kid after his own heart – that determination was something they’d always had in common. 

His dying wish was that Naruto and Sasuke would both grow into heroes of the village and that Konoha would honor them for it. Additionally, and _selfishly_ , he hoped they’d also become friends. 

Itachi backed Sasuke up against a crumbling wall. The Uchiha crest befittingly presided over the fall of the curtain. His little brother stood petrified as Itachi’s hand reached in supplication towards his Light. 

“Forgive me, Sasuke. This will be the last time” Itachi assured him. 

Finger pads tapped Sasuke’s forehead in a teasing gesture of brotherly affection as his last act living on the green earth. 

They slid down Sasuke’s cheek, as if mirroring the heavy lines on Itachi’s own face, and to the seventeen-year-old’s chin. 

He canted forward and with a grotesque, almost comical, _**THUNK –**_

Itachi Uchiha at twenty-one, bashed out and blackened his lights on the remains of the ancestral Uchiha no Ajito and died. 

* * *

Rain pelted Naruto. He had to get there. Had to intercept Sasuke before Mr. Tobi could lay one gloved digit on him. 

He won the race. 

Sasuke’s prone form rested unconscious beside his brother’s body. 

Naruto choked down wails of despair. 

There were foes hot on his heels. He had to get Sasuke and get out of here. 

Looping a limp arm over his shoulder, Naruto heaved the other teenage boy upright and anchored him with an arm around his torso. 

_Running footsteps homing in._

Naruto paused to look down on Itachi. 

The young man had been his mentor and respite since he was a child. Jiraiya-sensei was wonderful. Kakashi-sensei was wonderful. Granny Tsunade was cool even if she was scary. 

But they weren’t Itachi. 

They could never hold a candle to the man who’d been his finest and most loving protector. 

It hurt so terribly to leave Itachi’s corpse there that the smallest but most sincere voice within the Jinchuuriki entertained swapping out loads and forsaking Sasuke to Madara. 

Naruto adjusted his grip on his burden and Shunshined away. 

* * *

Relating to Sasuke the truth about his brother should go down in the annals of Buddhist monks as the ultimate crucible to be undertook on the path towards Enlightenment. 

“ **Replacement!** How the blazing fuck did you find me?! Where are we?!” it had started off. 

It escalated to panic attacks and feverish screams of denial. Naruto at some point had to restrain Sasuke with bonds so that they might communicate rationally. 

“You’re lying! Itachi was a murderer! _**Stop saying his name and take off that headband!**_ ” 

Naruto shook his head. 

Itachi had given him this headband with its iconic slash through the leaf insignia and so on his head it would stay. 

Sasuke did not believe Naruto’s explanations or his claim that Itachi had planted further powers in Sasuke’s eyes in an effort to kill Madara, the real enemy, with Ameterasu should the deceitful Akatsuki ringleader make a play to draft Sasuke into his ranks. 

Sasuke hated Naruto for daring to suggest that he knew how he felt - that he grieved equally for Itachi alongside him in a trench of misery. 

“What would you know about it – _**orphan?!**_ Itachi replaced me with you until he ceased to care for you! **Just** like he ceased to care for his clan! He left you back on Konoha’s doorstep when he was done like you were unwanted deadweight!” 

“You’re wrong, Sasuke! Itachi cared for both of us! He wanted us to become friends – brothers!”

 _ **“YOU ARE NOT HIS BROTHER!”**_

The envious and embittered shout stunned Naruto. He used the ensuing silence to bring himself to admit aloud his thoughts from earlier. 

“You’re right. I’m not. He was more like a father to me.” 

Whatever Sasuke had been expecting, it wasn’t that. 

The Uchiha opened his mouth to retort, closed it, and opened it again to bark weakly, “What?” 

“He raised me. I think he was so angry with the shop owner guy in Konoha that he just kinda escaped the village with me as an afterthought. Then, like anyone from the ANBU Black Ops, he carried out his next mission. I mighta complicated things for any other operative but this is Itachi we’re talking about.” 

Naruto sighed. 

“I always wanted to meet you. He told me stories about you and about the Village Hidden in the Leaves. But mostly you, Sasuke. He loved you **more than his life.** That’s why you should come back with me. I won’t make you but you should. For Itachi.” 

Sasuke sat shell-shocked for a long time. 

In the end, he did not return with Naruto. 

* * *

Upon returning to Konoha, the Nine Tails was told of the death of Jiraiya the Gallant. 

Having two father figures to mourn was too much so when Fukasaku volunteered to train him in mastering Toad Sage Mode to become an official sage, Naruto accepted, if only for the distraction. 

The village was demolished by Pein in his absence although Granny Tusande kept the villagers safe through chakra and Lady Katsuyu. 

Naruto squared off against Pein and triumphed. 

He didn’t know that elsewhere in the world, Sasuke had confronted Obito and verified that his brother had transferred his ocular abilities to him prior to death. 

But Naruto got the gist when he received a scroll missive with only two words inside: 

_For Itachi._

 

* * *

Epilogue: 

Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha faced many dangers and demons who threatened the shinobi countries and their peoples. And somewhere along that deadly road – they became friends. 

Eventually, Naruto was elected the Seventh Hokage of the Leaf. 

He wore Itachi’s headband beneath the Hokage’s traditional kasa. 

Sasuke reconnected with his former teammates and childhood friends, Sakura Haruno and Sai. 

Sai married into the Yamanaka family and Sakura married Naruto. Haruno, the medical nin apprentice of Tsunade, had only really gotten to know the Jinchuuriki once he was sixteen and they’d caught one another’s fancy during the recovery of Konoha after Pein’s attack. 

Sasuke settled down with the Hyuuga heiress, Hinata. The last Uchiha standing enjoyed her quiet strength which complimented his brooding mannerisms and soothed his soul which wasn’t as ravaged as it could have been. 

Having the stalwart Nine Tails (wiser, clever, and more fortified due to Itachi’s guidance) as his brother in arms meant that Sasuke was never directionless and grounded with an accountability system he actually respected. 

He conquered nightmarish parts of his past and in lieu of wandering the nations in search of some inner mitigation found his sanctuary in Konoha Village with his family. 

He began to repopulate the Uchiha line with **seven children.** His first son he named Itachi. 

His daughter, Sarada, grew into a beautiful teenage girl which wasn’t a problem until she gained an interest in Mitsuki. 

Orochimaru’s albino spawn was expressly forbidden from making eye contact with his princess and Sasuke could be seen hovering near Team Konohamaru in-between their missions so as to ensure that his order was heeded. 

Naruto, as Hokage, had to intervene and drag Sasuke off for dango to have a necessary talk about the boundaries of up-and-coming ninja teams being honored. Sasuke had launched into a rant about the honor of his **daughter** being honored. 

They stumped through it. The Snake Sannin’s son and absolutely the exonerated Snake Sannin himself were not going to stir any pots. 

Orochimaru was too anxious Itachi Uchiha would usher forth from his grave a second instance to feasibly formulate a smidgen of the acrimony called for to mess with the Uchiha clan ever again. 

Naruto couldn’t fathom sometimes how magical living in the Leaf as an adult was compared to just barely existing in it as a snot-nosed kid. 

It was mythical that his face was carved into that mountain alongside his birth father Minato Namakazi’s. 

It was spellbinding to walk the park where a monument to Itachi was erected to pay tribute to his actions post mortem. 

Naruto felt the sun beam down on his tanned skin and couldn’t help but smile!


	2. Author's Notes

Disclaimer: Not my sandbox – I just play here – (Kishimoto made and owns Naruto – Google it!) 

Another story posted on my sister's account - and another one featuring a father/son relationship - sigh -

 

So, this started out as an exercise and basically a one page scene. I was just supposed to write the scene of Itachi crying after the massacre from his POV. 

Then the What If question of What If He Just Took The Orange Ramen Addict With Him came up and it turned into an AU short story. 

It’s 2019 but I’m actually watching Naruto for the first time ever. Me and my sister have a deal going on wherein we’re watching our favorite animes over again with one another. 

We finished one of my faves that she’d never seen but a few episodes of, _the_ Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. And then it was her turn to let me watch an anime I’d never seen – Naruto. 

It is A LOT longer than the 64 episodes of FMA Brotherhood. Good sweet Laaawwd…… 

Anyway, Itachi’s death struck a chord with me. 

I really enjoy how he’s a stoic character who clearly has a reason to hold his cards so close to his chest – he’s not some boring ass anti-hero who never talks because that makes him cool – he’s more complicated than that. 

I also love how his actions could be argued for or against – he does everything for Sasuke but you could take different stances on whether or not he did the right thing in-between that rock and a hard place he was forcefully wedged into. 

Even as a villain before you find out his backstory, he’s threatening and his final fight scene with Sasuke has all kinds of interesting things packed into it. It sort of encapsulates what the show/manga is to me – that of a Japanese feudal fantasy world of ninjas and mythical creatures. 

Minus the occasional TV or flashlight that turns up in an episode – the story has an epic saga vibe that is closer to being ancient than modern so I really tried to pay homage to that in my style of narration. 

Itachi is a great character and I think his initial arc is my favorite in the series. Codename: _When your sibling plays “Got Your Nose” terribly wrong._

Poor Dippin’ Sauce – XD 

Personally, I could never play the villain for my younger sister even if I had the level of dedication to my goals like Itachi. For one – I’m too fuckin’ goofy. 

I’d wait in that chair and strike a Dr. Evil pose and begin my monologue with “Have you done as I asked? _Upped your mojo?_ We’ll just have to friggin’ see if it’s enough. BWWAAHAHAHA!! 

All in all – this was a fun experience though and I’m glad I got to try and get in Itachi’s head even if I didn’t get enough instances to make use of his Criss Angel eyes in the story. 

Next time maybe….. 

Personally (again), the scene I enjoyed penning the most was the Drunk Scene. 

I have a headcannon that Itachi got shitfaced drunk after hearing that Orochimaru was the one his baby brother went to for training. I just imagine Kisame coming to collect him for a mission while he mutters about eviscerating that “…..No good slimy conniving fork-tongued fuckwit *#^$*#$&^…” in garbled drunk speech and Kisame having to throw him over his shoulder like “Whoa, reign in your crow-horses, babe. You’ve had one too many.” 

Anyhow – I incorporated that in the AU. 

Some references in here – 

The “Another!” line taken from Thor – Orochimaru giving mega Uncle Scar vibes (inspired) – Kisame as none other than Man Bear Pig. 

So let me know what y’all think of this. 

Do y’all like Itachi Uchiha and his part in the story of Naruto? 

My sister and I have an interesting difference of opinion regarding one Mulan Szechuan Dipping Sauce. I like his straight-laced Inigo Montoya Motive: You Killed Our Family, Prepare to Die! 

But she thinks he could be more rounded out as far as Duck Butts go. At least she likes Itachi so she didn’t mind this AU. 

Songspirations: 

Polarize – by Twenty One Pilots 

The Soldier – by Lacey Strum 

The Set-Up – by Zebrahead 

Lemme know your thoughts in the comments if you’d be so kind. 

Peace!!


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